Just a Dream
by waitwhaaat
Summary: Were the past 8 years really just a dream?
1. Chapter 1

_*AN - Hey team, so I know this specific idea is not necessarily original. However, it's one of those ideas that I personally love reading over and over again to get different takes and to enjoy different authors styles; so this is mine. If you're over this idea, then don't bother reading. As always, any critique is welcomed. Thanks!_

_This story begins during TOW Ross Finds Out during Season 2. There is a scene that was cut from syndication but is available on the full release DVDs where Monica and Chandler are running outside of Central Perk (this is the episode where Monica tries to help Chandler get in shape). Chandler stops to take a breath, and when Monica tries to physically pull him to keep running they get into a small scuffle that results in Monica pushing Chandler to the ground. Truly a hilarious scene - comedy at its best, but for the sake of my story its going to have to be a lot less funny. Monica pushes Chandler to the ground a little too hard, Chandler falls, hits his head, and the world goes dark. Don't worry, there will be no death to Chandler by way of clumsiness. This story will center around why and how his subconscious managed to take Chandler into the future while he was out cold, playing out the next 8 years like a dream, and what happens when he wakes up to find that none of it really happened. _

**The Dreaming Tree**

**_Now progress takes away _**

**_What forever took to find _**

**_And now he's falling hard _**

**_He feels the falling dark _**

**_How he longs to be _**

**_Beneath his dreaming tree _**

**_\- Dave Matthews _**

Chandler could hear a faint beeping sound and wondered sleepily how long his alarm had been going off. He tried to move to hit the snooze button but realized that his arm seemed unable to move, it felt as though it was being weighed down by a ton of bricks. In fact, now that he was aware of it, his whole body felt like it was beneath a ton of bricks, he was even struggling to open his eyelids. Chandler felt a brief wave of panic, but realized that even evoking any sense of strong emotion was costing him quite a bit of energy he didn't seem to have. He let go of his panic, and focused all of his energy on just opening his eyes. It took him several moments, but Chandler succeeded, and was soon blinking his eyelids as rapidly as he could to make sure that they were still working and to regain the sense of feeling that had moments before been gone. As his vision cleared, Chandler realized he did not know where he was. It was a room, but not one he recognized, and as he tried to piece it all together he realized that his mind was working slower than normal, almost as though he had had too much to drink. The room was too bright, he couldn't make out what anything was. The faint beeping persisted somewhere around him, but Chandler ignored it and instead tried to remember where he was and why he was there. What was the last thing he remembered? He had gone to bed late because Monica had insisted on getting everything unpacked…he had moved…the new house…the twins…it slowly started to trickle forward from somewhere in the back of his mind, and Chandler remembered. He had been dog tired after what had felt like the longest 72 hours of his life. Thursday Chandler and Monica had taken Erica to the hospital because she went into labor, Friday they took the twins home to the apartment, and Saturday they moved. Chandler didn't remember what time him and Monica had finished unpacking late Saturday night, all he knew was that he had collapsed into bed next to her and had fallen asleep almost at once. The beeping interrupted his last memories and Chandler remembered that neither him or Monica had set an alarm…but there was definitely a beeping coming from somewhere. Chandler started to search the room for a clue as to where he was, his eyes finally having adjusted to the light. It was a very white room, a TV attached to the ceiling in the corner, the bed he was in was weird, was that his old hockey stick in the corner? There was a chair next to him, and now that he was really looking at it, he realized there was someone in the chair, fast asleep.

"Joey!" Chandler tried to yell, knowing what a heavy sleeper he was, but no sound came out of his mouth. It was as though he hadn't used his voice for days, and now that he was trying to use it, he realized how dry his mouth and throat felt and began to cough.

Chandler's sputters and faint cough was enough to rouse Joey. "Oh my God, you're awake! Hang on!" And with that, Joey was gone. Chandler continued to cough wondering where Joey had gone, only hoping that he would come back with some water. Just as Chandler felt he was getting his swallowing and breathing back under control Joey re-entered the room with a second person Chandler didn't recognize in tow.

The man approached Chandler quickly and immediately shone a very bright light into his eyes and began to speak very loudly. "Chandler, my name is Dr. Coleman, try not to speak right now, but I want you to try to answer my questions by shaking your head up and down for 'yes' and back and forth for 'no'. Do you understand?" He asked as he seemed to finish examining Chandler's eyes and put the small light back in his pocket. He looked at Chandler expectantly, and Chandler obediently nodded his head up and down to indicate that he understood. He didn't understand though, it now seemed clear that he was in a hospital, but he had no idea why. Where was Monica? Where were the twins? Chandler could feel the panic begin to rise in his chest, the beeping in the background began to ring in his ears as he realized it was not an alarm but some kind of monitor, what the hell had happened.

Dr. Coleman recognized the panic immediately and rested his hand on Chandler's shoulder to try to reassure him. "Chandler, try to calm down. Everything is okay, and you are okay. You had a small accident a few days ago, do you remember it?" Chandler shook his head from side to side quickly, but immediately began to regret it as spots began to dance in front of his eyes. "Chandler, try to focus on my face, Chandler." Dr. Coleman urged as he recognized Chandler becoming dizzy. "You're coming off of a heavy dosage of drugs right now Chandler, so if you're confused that's okay." Dr. Coleman continued to speak as he reached over to the table next to the bed and began to pour water into a paper cup. "I want you to drink this very slowly, it will help." Dr. Coleman offered the cup to Chandler, and began to speak again, "when you feel like you can, I want you to tell me when your birthday is."

Chandler swallowed the water slowly as instructed, not wanting to begin choking again. As the water trickled down his throat it not only alleviated the dryness in his chest but also seemed to bring some clarity back to his mind. "My birthday is April 8th, 1968." Chandler spoke slowly, still not trusting his own voice. It came out ragged and whispered, but nonetheless he could speak.

Dr. Coleman nodded his head but offered no facial expression to relay whether or not his answer was correct. "Who is the last person you remember being with?" he asked, his face still blank.

"Monica," Chandler answered immediately. "Where is Monica, is she here?" he asked quickly, looking to Joey. Joey's eyes went wide at the question, clearly not expecting to be involved in this process. Joey, not knowing what he should or shouldn't say, looked quickly to Dr. Coleman for help.

Dr. Coleman held his hand up to Joey to keep him from answering and began to speak again, "Chandler, do you remember your accident?" Dr. Coleman knew that Chandler had already answered no, but also knew that patients were capable of recovering memories quickly when coming off of heavy anesthesia.

Chandler racked his memory, but all he could remember was going to sleep with Monica. Maybe because those 72 hours had been some of the most important in his life, maybe that was why they were the last he could remember now. Chandler considered voicing this thought to Dr. Coleman, but decided he didn't want to get ahead of himself when he didn't even know what had happened yet. "No, I don't remember, what happened?" Chandler asked, desperate to try to figure out why he was lying here in this hospital bed. Desperate for any answers, really.

Dr. Coleman decided to go ahead and allow for his patient to be reminded of the accident. This wasn't always the best thing to do, but Dr. Coleman could see that Chandler had regained lucidity, seemed to know who he was with some confidence, and had some sense of who he had been with last, even if he couldn't remember what had happened. "Joey, would you like to tell your friend how he wound up here?" Dr. Coleman asked, knowing that the information would be easier to take from a friend.

Joey swallowed, not expecting to be called on, but shaking his head as a sign that he was willing to take on the task. Joey turned to Chandler, and began to explain the best way he knew how to, "so, you and Mon were going for a run, and I don't know why, but you started to fight. Not like a bad fight, just playing really, and then she pushed you, and you fell, but you hit your head pretty hard on the sidewalk and you passed out. Phoebe and I watched the whole thing 'cause you guys were just right outside of the coffee shop, but we didn't know anything was wrong until Mon came in screaming that you weren't getting up, I guess she thought you had been joking for a minute. We called an ambulance, and when I came out to get a look at ya you were still out. We tried to get you to wake up, but you just wouldn't, it was really scary, man." Joey finished the story, his eyes still slightly larger than they normally were, the memory of what had happened still in the pit of his stomach. He looked over to Dr. Coleman to see if there was anything else that he wanted him to tell Chandler, but Dr. Coleman looked keen to take over the story telling duties from there, which was probably a good thing, because the rest of it had been so terrifying that Joey wasn't sure if he could get through having to tell it.

"Apparently you hit your head pretty hard, Chandler. When the ambulance arrived you began seizing. In fact, you seized the entire way to the hospital, indicating a very severe trauma to your brain. When you arrived, myself along with the head of the neurology department made a decision to put you into an induced coma. The induced coma helped us reduce pressure and swelling in the brain, and gave us some time to figure what was going on without us having to worry about your body's natural metabolic system kicking in. Your CT scan showed some intracranial hemorrhaging, which is what caused your prolonged seizure. We were able to treat the hemorrhaging with some drug therapy, and in combination with your induced coma, you've seemed to have made a full recovery. All of your CT scans look clean, and even though everything I just said sounds pretty scary, I assure you, your scans show no lasting brain damage." Dr. Coleman finished with a smile on his face to help reassure Chandler, knowing full well that the information he just unloaded would be a lot to take in.

Chandler blinked slowly. Induced coma? Intracranial hemorrhaging? Prolonged seizure? No wonder he felt like he could barely move. It didn't make any sense though, when had he been running with Monica. And if they did go running, why were they running outside of the coffee shop, and not in their new neighborhood?

"You okay man, you look confused," Joey asked. Joey didn't know much about medicine, if the doc said Chandler was fine, then Chandler was fine, but he definitely did not look fine right now.

"I just…" Chandler began trying to remember, "why were Monica and I running outside of the coffee house?" Chandler asked.

"Oh," Joey laughed slightly, "See, Phoebe got it in your head that you had gained some weight, so Monica said she'd work out with ya, remember?" Joey asked. "No need to worry though man, you've probably lost like 10lbs over the past 4 days you've been out," he added, laughing slightly at how this whole thing had started over something so stupid.

Chandler wrinkled his forehead as Joey explained why he had been running with Monica in the middle of Greenwich Village. He remembered now, but that couldn't be right. That had been years ago, Chandler couldn't even remember how many years, thats how long it had been. Chandler remembered it exactly, they had been running, and he had stopped to take a breath, which had resulted in a minor physical altercation with Monica, which had resulted in her pushing him to the ground. But he hadn't hit his head, he had gotten back up and had chased her all the way back to the apartments. Chandler suddenly became very aware of the fact that his heart was hammering in his chest.

Dr. Coleman who had been studying Chandler's facial reactions closely while being filled in on what had happened began to notice something was wrong. Chandler's face clearly indicated some kind of panic. "Chandler, is everything alright?" Dr. Coleman, asked concerned.

"What year is it?" Chandler asked, not knowing how else to begin to solve this riddle.

"What year do you think it is?" Dr. Coleman asked, suddenly concerned. While there was no set of behaviors to look for in a patient recovering from brain trauma, this was certainly unusual.

"20.." Chandler began to answer, but stopped himself suddenly. It was clear to Chandler what had happened now. The whole thing had been a dream; some crazy, drug induced, brain hemorrhaging dream. It had felt so real, though, he could swear he could still smell the fabric softener on his and Monica's sheets. Whatever was going on in his head, one thing was for sure, and that was that Chandler wasn't going to figure any of it out if he got himself locked up in a looney bin by telling his doctors that he had traveled to the future in his coma.

"Chandler, what year is it?" Dr. Coleman asked again, more urgent than before. It had been clear that Chandler had been about to answer with a very wrong year.

Chandler racked his brain, trying to remember what year it had been when he had Monica help him to try to lose weight. It didn't help that his brain and body were still recovering from the effects of an induced coma. There had been a party, girls had ignored him, thats when Phoebe said that he had gained weight, and Monica said that she would help him lose it. It was a guy he worked with, Gary, it had been his birthday party, his 30th birthday, which meant Chandler would have been about 27 at the time, which meant that it was 1995, "It's 1995!" Chandler exclaimed, excited that he had been able to force his brain to work.

Dr. Coleman narrowed his eyes at Chandler, trying to figure out what was going through his head. There was something obviously wrong, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it, "What's the last date you remember," Dr. Coleman asked, trying to gauge whether or not Chandler was lying.

"Well, I don't like to kiss and tell doc, but it went pretty well, if you know what I mean," Chandler laughed, knowing full well that Dr. Coleman had meant calendar date, but there was no way Chandler was going to remember the actual date, it took him three minutes just to figure out the year. Joey laughed along with Chandler, apparently reassured by the return of Chandler's sense of humor that he was going to be just fine.

Dr. Coleman continued to stare at Chandler, but decided against pressing the issue. "Okay, Chandler. Here's the deal, we get to keep you for another 24hrs, just to make sure that you're okay, and then you get to go home with the giant crowd I've had sleeping in my visitors lounge for the past four days."

"Who's here?" Chandler asked, confused that there should be a crowd of people just for him.

Dr. Coleman smiled, "Mr. Tribbiani can have a few more minutes with you and then you can see for yourself, one at a time, please. I'll be back to check on your vitals in about an hour." Dr. Coleman walked out of the room, allowing Joey to jump on to Chandler's bed in a heap of excitement.

"Everybody's here, dude!" Joey exclaimed, a giant smile plastered to his face. "Your mom and your uhhh…dad flew in, we've had to keep them on opposite sides of the room. Mr. and Mrs. Gellar have been in and out, Carol and Susan have been by with Ben a ton, and you've had a bunch of coworkers come by to see ya."

Chandler couldn't believe it. It may have been 8 years ago in his head, but he couldn't remember being that popular. "Geez, Joe, what'd you guys think I was gonna die or something?" Chandler asked, laughing slightly. When Joey didn't laugh with him, Chandler looked up and saw that Joey's faced had changed quickly from one of excitement to one of someone who just lost their puppy. That's when Chandler realized, "Oh wow, you guys thought I was going to die?"

"No one would tell us what was going to happen. They didn't know how bad the damage was until all the swelling went down, and that was just yesterday. We uh, we just didn't know," Joey continued, looking down, not wanting Chandler to see the moisture that had formed in the corners of his eyes.

"Hey man, I'm alright," Chandler said, patting Joey on the shoulder for reassurance. Although Chandler wasn't 100% sure that he was alright. Sure, he had managed to recover full function of his body now, and it seemed like most of the drugs were finally letting up a little, but he was definitely still off. Didn't most dreams sorta fade away after you woke up? It seemed to Chandler that most of the dreams he had ever had seemed to trickle away with each passing second after waking, but this weird future dream didn't seem to want to budge. "Hey, is Monica here?" Chandler asked suddenly, knowing somehow that if he could just see her, he would be able to convince himself that it wasn't real.

"Yeah, are ya kidding? She hasn't left your side since you knocked out. We flipped a coin to see who could wait with you while they pulled you out of the coma. Boy, she was not happy about losing that coin toss," Joey laughed.

"Yeah, I bet," Chandler laughed too at the thought of Monica throwing a temper tantrum over a coin toss. "Can you go get her?" Chandler asked with an eagerness building inside his whole body. He wasn't sure why, but Chandler just knew that as soon as he saw Monica he would forget all about his stupid dream.

"Alright man, I'll go send her," Joey said, getting up off of Chandler's bed. When he reached the door Joey stopped for just a moment before bolting back to Chandler's bedside and throwing his arms around his best friend. He quickly pulled himself together and walked back to the door and walked out of the room without saying another word.

Chandler laughed quietly to himself. He must have had his friends pretty worried, but did they really think that he might die? Chandler wasn't so sure, Joey had a tendency of overreacting during dramatic situations. Chandler was pulled from his thoughts by a soft knock on his door, "come in," he answered. The door opened and Chandler's heart jumped straight into his throat. Monica looked so different than how he had just seen her in his head. Despite the differences, there was no denying it, this was the woman that Chandler was completely head over heels in love with. So much for it being just a dream.


	2. Chapter 2

Chandler swallowed hard as he watched Monica enter his room. He felt like he was falling in love and having his heart broken at the same time. Chandler knew it was all in his head, but it was just so real. There was a part of him that just wanted to scream and throw things, knowing that it wasn't real, knowing that she didn't feel the same way about him. Looking at her now, her eyes, her lips - he could swear that he had tasted those lips at least a million times. Chandler could feel his heart beating wildly against his chest, and prayed that she wouldn't hear it as she came closer to his bedside. Only now that she was close did Chandler realize that there was something wrong with her. She wasn't herself. She seemed, subdued, apprehensive even, her eyes refusing to meet his. "Monica, what's wrong, are you okay?" Chandler asked, taking her hand out of habit. He quickly scolded himself, how could it be a habit, it wasn't real!

Monica sniffled a small laugh, "You're lying here in a hospital bed, and you ask me how I'm doing?" Monica finally looked up into Chandler's face and collapsed into a mess of tears against his chest, hugging him close. "I'm so sorry Chandler! I swear I didn't mean to hurt you! When you didn't get up, oh God, I'm just so sorry!" Monica sobbed into his chest, crying freely for the first time since the accident. Her friends had tried to assure her that Chandler hitting his head had not been her fault, that it was a freak accident. But Monica had insisted on carrying her torch of guilt, not allowing anyone to comfort her or offer reassurance. Instead she focused all of her energy on Chandler. She became well acquainted with the entire hospital staff on his floor, ensuring that all of his needs were being met. She had arranged for both of his parents to come up, and had personally seen to it that everyone in his office was notified and that Chandler had received the full benefit of a medical leave of absence. She had even brought over a few of his favorite things to place into his room so he would have something familiar to look at when he woke up, although the head RN didn't want to allow the hockey stick in the room, Monica had insisted it be there when he open his eyes.

Chandler slowly rubbed Monica's back as she cried onto his chest, softly shushing her like a child. He remembered vividly having just done this with his infant son what felt like only hours before; and now here he was, a childless, single man. Chandler shook his head, trying to shake the false memory free, and returning his focus to the woman crying in his arms. "Mon, its okay, its not your fault," he whispered comfortingly.

"Of course its my fault!" Monica sobbed, "I pushed you, I almost killed you!" She cried even harder at the thought of having lost her best friend.

"Hey Monica," Chandler said, grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling her up to look at him, "I'm okay, you didn't hurt me, and you didn't kill me. I hit my head on that sidewalk because I'm a clumsy idiot and I tripped over my own feet, not because you pushed me too hard, we were playing. Okay?" As he stared into her watery eyes it took all of his willpower not to lean in and kiss her. He'd kissed away her tears before; when they had gotten engaged, when they found out that they couldn't conceive, when he had gotten Erica to agree to let them adopt her baby. This was definitely wrong, it had not been a dream, Chandler was sure of it. Dream's were supposed to quickly slip away, like sand through your fingers. This was growing stronger in his mind, becoming more clear and defined with each passing minute. He didn't realize he was still holding Monica in front of him, staring intently in her eyes.

Monica was finally beginning to allow herself to feel comforted by the only person who could do it. With Chandler's words, Monica's guilt slowly began to recede, like the waves of an angry tsunami slowly rolling back to sea. As Monica smiled softly at Chandler's kind words she let herself look at him for the first time since walking into his room. Her brow furrowed as she studied Chandler's face, she was almost startled by what she saw. She had looked at his face at least a million times in her life, but it was unmistakably different now. He stared at her now with an intensity she had never seen in him before, an intensity she had never seen in any man before. And then it was gone. Chandler released Monica from his hold, and she felt her shoulders slump slightly at the sudden burden of having to hold herself up without the assistance of Chandler's strong hands. Monica watched as Chandler turned his head sharply, suddenly very interested in his lamp. "Chandler, are you okay?" Monica asked cautiously, she couldn't put her finger on it, but he was definitely different.

Chandler quickly looked back at her, pushing his memories of a future that didn't really exist to the back of his head. "Who me?" Chandler asked playfully. "I have more drugs in my system right now than a Columbian drug lord, I'm fantastic."

Monica laughed, wiping a few of the stray tears from her face. Within seconds Chandler had seemingly transformed back to his old self again. Maybe it was just the drugs after all. Monica smiled softly at him, only looking away when there was a knock at the door.

Ross poked his head in through the small crack he had made in the door, "Hey, the rest of us would like a turn too, ya know."

"Oh, alright," Monica conceded, removing herself from Chandler's bed. She looked at Chandler and pointed her finger threateningly at him, "you better not go anywhere, I'll be waiting for you right out there," she said with as much warning in her voice she could manage without sounding angry.

"I'm counting on it," Chandler replied, not able to help himself. He watched as Monica left the room, looking back at him curiously one last time before closing the door behind Ross.

Ross took a seat in the empty chair next to Chandler's bed, leaning forward while resting his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. "You had us really worried there, buddy," Ross offered a small smile.

"Well, what can I say, you guys know how much I hate running," Chandler joked weakly, trying to regulate his heart beat now that Monica had left the room.

Ross smiled at Chandler's attempted joke, "I'm just glad you're okay man."

Chandler looked at Ross curiously, taking into account the serious nature of his tone, "Jeez Ross, you guys all make it sound like you were picking out tombstones for me." Chandler watched as Ross reacted to these words by looking down at the ground and rubbing the toe of his shoe against the floor as though he was trying to remove a scuff. When Ross didn't respond, Chandler decided to press the issue, "Ross, seriously, what happened? Why did you guys have my parents come out here?"

Ross looked up to face Chandler, "didn't the doctor explain what happened?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, he explained the induced coma and the hemorrhaging, but, I don't know…I guess, he kinda made it sound like everything had been under control. I mean, I'm fine now, so they must've known what they were doing, right?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, it was just kinda scary watching it, that's all." Ross shrugged, staring in the opposite direction of the room.

Chandler felt like Ross was holding back, but couldn't push himself to be too concerned. He was still trying to figure out how eight years of his supposed future had ended up in his head with no apparent explanation other than it being a very vivid dream. There had to be a way to test it, to see if the things that he 'remembered' were real, or just imagined.

Slowly, one by one, everyone Chandler had ever cared about filtered in and out of his room to see for themselves that he was okay. His dad had cried, and made him promise that they would talk more, Chandler agreed, with every intention of keeping his promise. HIs mom on the other hand didn't cry, but pulled Chandler close and stroked his hair like she had when he was small. Phoebe played Chandler a new song that she had written just for him, although it was to the tune of 'If I Only Had a Brain' from the Wizard of Oz, and shared quite a few of the same lyrics. Rachel apologized profusely for not coming to the hospital until the morning after the accident. Apparently she had been out on a date, another failed attempt to move past Ross, and had gotten relatively drunk. Chandler assured her that he didn't mind, although her story had triggered a faint memory. Something about a message left on an answering machine.

"Hey Rach, did you make any calls from the restaurant?" Chandler asked, suddenly anxious.

"Calls from the restaurant? No, wha-" and then she paused, her own memories suddenly starting to flicker, "Wait, I didn't call you, did I?" Rachel asked, trying to remember.

"Uh, no, I was here," Chandler reminded her.

Rachel gasped and rose from her chair next to Chandler's bed, suddenly remembering.

"There it is," Chandler muttered to himself. So it wasn't imagined. Maybe it was a coincidence, Chandler tried to reason with himself.

"Oh my God, I called Ross! I left him a message! Oh my God, I have to get to his answering machine before he can hear it!"

"Uh Rach, I hate to tell ya this, but Ross went home about twenty minutes ago."

"What?! Nooooo! Why did you let him leave?!" Rachel asked, now pacing around the room.

"My bad," Chandler muttered again, watching Rachel have a full blown panic attack, but all the while wondering what it all meant. He remembered the whole scenario that to him felt like it had taken place a lifetime ago, but in reality was only now just happening. Rachel had left a message for Ross while she had been drunk, telling him that she was over him. Ross heard it, found out that Rachel had feelings for him, and had finally kissed Rachel. This had of course led to the pro's and con's list that Chandler had stupidly suggested to Ross that he make to help him pick between Rachel and Julie. The list helped Ross decide to break up with Julie, but had also effectively ruined things with Rachel when she found the list. Well, thought Chandler, he definitely wouldn't suggest a pro's and con's list this time, that was for sure. But wait, Chandler stopped himself. Should he really be messing with anything, he wondered. What if he inadvertently created some sort of butterfly effect that would do something crazy like prevent him and Monica from getting together? But then things were already different, he reasoned. He hadn't knocked himself out in his memory of him and Monica running together, so things had already changed. There was no rhyme or reason to any of this, Chandler decided.

"What does this mean Chandler?!" Rachel yelled, shaking Chandler from his own thoughts.

"Huh?" Chandler asked stupidly, "I don't know, what does what mean?" He asked again, trying to remember where Rachel left off in her rant.

"What does it mean for me and Ross if he hears the message? What do you think he'll do?" Rachel asked, desperately pleading for some kind of answer from Chandler.

Chandler smiled, more to himself than to Rachel. "Rach, Ross has been crazy about you since high school. He might be shell shocked for a few minutes, but I think we all know what he's going to do."

Rachel approached the bed and wrapped her arms around Chandler, "Thank you, Chandler," she whispered.

"Your welcome," Chandler answered back against her hair. He let her go, and she waved goodbye as she walked out of Chandler's room to go deal with the repercussions of her drunken message. As soon as she was gone Chandler let his head fall back and hit his pillow. He squinted his eyes shut, trying to process the last few hours. He pulled his hands to his eyes, and rubbing them slowly began to open them again. Chandler immediately noticed his hospital identification bracelet, a simple white, plastic bracelet with his name on it, attached to him while he had been unconscious. As he shut his eyes again his mind shifted to the memory of a nurse attaching both a blue and pink bracelet to his wrist; 'Baby Bing Boy' had been printed on the blue bracelet while the pink read 'Baby Bing Girl'. Chandler's eyes began to water slightly at the memory. All at once the reality of what was happening hit him. Even if the message Rachel had left on Ross' machine hadn't been a coincidence, and there was some premonition like quality to what Chandler had experienced, there was no guarantee to any of it. There was a chance that he would live the rest of his life without Monica by his side. Chandler immediately shook his head at the thought of it. He wouldn't allow it, and that was that. He didn't care what it took, he would do everything in his power to make sure that Monica and him ended up together.

Chandler was released from the hospital, as promised, the following day. He had been through two more CT Scans before he left, and was scheduled to return in a few days for more follow-up testing, but Dr. Coleman had assured Chandler and his friends that everything seemed completely normal, and that Chandler should be fine. Chandler had not, however, disclosed to the doctor, or anyone else for that matter, that he had not just seen, but had somehow lived, his own future during his coma; so Chandler couldn't quite agree that he was 100% normal.

It all felt so wrong, as he opened the door to his and Joey's apartment. Every fiber in his body told him that he didn't live there anymore, that he hadn't lived there for years. As he lay down in his bed, his mind raced with memories of things that hadn't happened yet. Chandler didn't know what to do with it all. He hadn't seen Ross or Rachel since their visits the day before in the hospital, so he wasn't sure if more of his memories were becoming a reality. He was more concerned about what he should do about Monica. At some point he had realized that in his coma future (as he was now referring to it in his head) he and Monica had not gotten together for another three years, and in those three years she had dated both Richard and Pete, and several other guys less seriously. He was quite sure that there was absolutely no way he could wait it out, and he was definitely sure that he would not be able to watch her be with other guys, even if he did know in the back of his head that they would end up together. His mind was settled, he would have to find a way to have Monica fall in love with him three years earlier than scheduled, he just needed to figure out how. Chandler allowed himself some sleep that night, although he felt restless. Every time he closed his eyes he saw a future that was starting to feel farther and farther away. When 7am rolled around he decided to stay in bed even though it was a Wednesday. His boss had assured him that he would not have to return to work until the following week, so Chandler stayed put, not quite sure what to do with himself. Chandler thought he would maybe go over to the University around lunch time to see Ross, maybe he would be able to find out what had happened with him and Rachel. That was when he remembered that Ross didn't work at NYU yet, he was still at the museum. Chandler groaned in frustration, he couldn't tell real memories from the ones that only existed in his head, and he felt as though it was keeping his mind in a perpetual state of fog. It didn't help that Chandler was fighting off an overwhelming sense of loss that kept creeping into the pit of his stomach. As he lay in bed, trying to sort through reality and non-reality, he couldn't help but feel as though a part of him was grieving. He felt as though he had spent the past eight years working so hard to get the things he had never thought he could have; a job he loved, a wife who was his whole world, two beautiful kids - and in an instant it was all gone. Chandler's racing mind was interrupted by a knock on his door. He begrudgingly rolled out of bed, prepared to tell Joey to let him be for the rest of the day, but was surprised to see Monica standing in his doorway instead.

"Hey," she said softly, offering a cautious smile.

"Hey," he replied, not really sure of what else to say in return. Chandler could think of about a million things he wanted to say, but knew that any one of them would most likely send her running for the phone to call the psych ward on him. She was beautiful, he noticed, even first thing in the morning, her hair just barely combed, and wearing an oversized sweatshirt and flannel pants. His mind quickly registered that this Monica was different than his wife. She was obviously younger, but somehow softer and more fragile than she had been when she was his. Despite the fact that his mind was well aware of the differences between the two Monica's, his heart seemed blissfully unaware. There was no doubt that Chandler loved her, as she stood now in front of him, ignorant to the internal struggle that Chandler was waging on himself.

Monica didn't expect to find herself so shy when she came over to check on Chandler. But now that she stood here in his doorway, she found herself staring at someone who again seemed different than the Chandler she knew. His eyes were heavy, he clearly hadn't slept well, but there was something else behind them that seemed to drag them down. And again, she was overwhelmed by the intensity that seemed to roll off of him in waves as he stared at her expectantly. She stuttered as she began to explain why she was disturbing him, "I uh…I was just worried when you, when you didn't come over with Joey for breakfast." Monica looked down to avoid the heaviness in Chandler's eyes.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Chandler started to apologize, running his hand through his unkempt hair. "I didn't sleep all that well, so I thought I'd just skip it." He had picked up on her body language immediately, and realized that he was making her uncomfortable. Chandler tried to remember what acting natural was like before he had fallen in love with her, but quickly realized that this was like asking himself to remember how to behave before he had learned to walk. Falling in love with Monica had been such a life altering event that his mind couldn't recall the small nuances that had made him different before, and more than anything Chandler understood that he didn't want to remember. Even as he stood here now, practically making her so uncomfortable that she couldn't even speak, he knew he never wanted to figure out how to be 'just friend's' with Monica ever again.

"Well, I'm sorry for just barging in," Monica began hastily, now trying to find a way to escape this awkward fog that had fallen over them, "I guess I just wanted to make sure you ate a good breakfast, but you should definitely try to get some more rest if you didn't sleep well," she was rambling and she knew it, and so she slowly started to walk backwards towards the front door as she continued, "maybe if you're hungry later I can make you something, you know, whatever you want, but I'll let you get some more rest, so I guess I'll see you later," her hand reached for the door knob to Joey and Chandler's front door and she pulled herself out of the apartment with a sloppy wave and a smile that she knew looked unnatural. As Monica slammed the door closed behind her she leaned against it with her eyes closed, wondering what in the hell had just happened. Why was she all of a sudden so nervous to be around Chandler? Monica had felt this way when visiting him the other day in the hospital too, but had brushed off the tension she had felt as a result of the guilt that she had been piling on herself from the accident. Monica was sure that she didn't still feel guilty; well, at least not like she had before. But there was definitely an awkwardness now that was between them, and she wasn't sure where it had come from. Monica sighed as she headed back to her apartment. She didn't know what was going on with Chandler, but she really hoped that whatever it was wouldn't destroy their friendship.


	3. Chapter 3

**OMG, you guys won't believe what happened to me. It was the craziest thing, there were ninjas...no seriously, there were ninjas. And then the guy came, and he was like "YOU GET OUTTA HERE!". So then I ran, but I was like, "oh shit, my laptop, I left my laptop!" But it was too late, I couldn't go back, cause the building I had been in straight up collapsed, I mean just crumbled to the ground. So there I was, running, ninjas still on my tail, and boom, I hit a cliff. So I had to make a choice right then and there, stay and get captured by ninjas, or risk jumping into the freezing cold ocean for the sake of freedom. That's right, I chose my freedom. I washed onto shore several days later, exhausted, dehydrated, and thoroughly depressed about losing my laptop. But then, and this is the truly crazy part, freaking dolphins came out of nowhere pushing a raft towards the beach that I had washed up on, and guess what was on the raft...that's right, my laptop! So, ya know, close call, right? Seriously though, I suck, and I'm sorry.**

Chandler shuffled into his apartment quietly, hoping that if anyone was at Monica and Rachel's they wouldn't hear him come in.

He had spent the past three days in hiding, leaving early each morning and returning late each night. When he did run into one of his friends and they questioned his strange, standoffish behavior, Chandler would respond with a quick quip, laughing off their concerns. He had told them he had decided to return to work early, and that there was quite a bit that he had to catch up on. Of course, this was a lie. After his awkward encounter with Monica the other morning Chandler found himself quickly getting dressed in work attire and rushing out to head downtown. He went to every ad agency he could find and filled out as many applications as he could. Chandler had no idea what he was doing, but he knew he could not go back to being the person that he was eight years ago. Today he had gone on multiple interviews, and was delighted to find that breaking in to advertisement and marketing seemed relatively easier in 1995 than it had been when he did it in 2003. Granted, these were still entry level positions, but Chandler didn't care, he wasn't going to waste any more of his time doing something he didn't love.

Chandler closed his front door as quietly as he could behind him and began to walk towards his bedroom. He hadn't noticed Ross sitting on the couch, and nearly jumped three feet in the air when he cleared his throat to make his presence known. "Jesus, Ross! You scared the crap out of me, man. What are you doing here?" Chandler asked, his hand still clutching the part of his chest that covered his heart.

"I was, uh, looking for you," Ross said, still seated.

Chandler could tell that there was something wrong, he felt like he had just walked into a trap and was now looking back towards the front door, knowing that it was too late to make it back out. "I was at work," Chandler offered, "it's crazy, I was gone less than a week, but it feels like theres a month's worth of stuff to catch up on." Chandler laughed, shrugging his shoulders and walking towards the refrigerator to grab a Yoohoo.

Ross looked down at his hands, and watched Chandler walk over to one of the bar stools and take a seat himself. "Chandler, I went to your office today," Ross said, looking back up at his surprised friend.

"You…you did what?" Chandler asked, not knowing what to say.

"Yeah, since you've been so busy, I thought I'd try to catch up with you at lunch, but they said you weren't there. They said you weren't scheduled to come back until Monday." Ross stared at Chandler carefully, trying to see what it was that was making one of his best friends act so secretive and distant, but there was nothing. Ross knew that this had something to do with the accident, but he couldn't even begin to guess at what could be going through Chandler's head that would make him push the rest of them away like this. After several moments of silence, Ross pushed on, "Chandler, where have you been going everyday?" Ross asked, trying to keep his voice calm and even, so that Chandler wouldn't become defensive.

Chandler knew he might as well come clean. He wasn't even sure why he had lied in the first place. Maybe it was because Joey had seen him leaving in a suit, asked Chandler if he was headed back to work, and it was just easier to go along with that than to try to explain that he had decided to change his entire career path and was going to go look for new jobs. Every part of this situation was complicated and confusing, so Chandler was looking for as many short cuts and easy way outs as he could find, it was just an unfortunate coincidence that it was also easier not talking to his friends for the time being. Chandler sighed, "I've been going on some job interviews," Chandler said, taking a sip of his drink.

"Job interviews?" Ross asked, confused. It wasn't like Chandler to lie, so when Ross found out that he hadn't been going to work like he had claimed, Ross assumed that it might be something bad, or else why would he lie about it. But of all the terrible things that had run through Ross' head, job interviews had never crossed his mind. "Why have you been going on job interviews?" Ross asked.

"I hate my job Ross, you guys all know that," Chandler began, "so, I thought I'd see if I couldn't get my foot in the door in advertising or marketing."

"Well, Chandler, I think that's great," Ross said, running his hand through his hair, a little confused, "I guess I'm just not sure why you lied to all of us about it."

This was exactly what Chandler had been avoiding. How could he begin to explain himself, he felt like his own friends didn't even really know him. "I don't know Ross. I guess I thought that if you guys knew I was trying to make a major career change, you would all just chalk it up as a result of the accident. I don't know, I guess it's important to me that you guys know, that the changes I want to make in my life, are not just because…because I'm brain damaged or something." Chandler didn't know where all of this was coming from, but it felt good to finally get some of these fears off of his chest.

"Is that why you've been avoiding all of us?" Ross asked. "Chandler, none of us think you're brain damaged." Ross stood up, taking a few steps towards his friend.

"Are you sure, Ross? 'Cause in the, I dunno', five times I've seen you since I got out of the hospital, today is actually the first time that you didn't start off our conversation by tilting your head to the side and asking me how I'm feeling." Chandler was starting to feel defensive and he didn't know why. He knew that avoiding his friends wasn't the solution to what he was going through, but he just needed some space so that he could try to think straight. Certainly being anywhere around Monica just made things ten times more difficult. In the few times that Chandler had seen her since she had come to check on him the other morning Monica had completely avoided making eye contact with him, clearly afraid of whatever he had accidentally let her see in them before.

Ross stared hard at Chandler, careful to pick his next words, "Listen man, I'm sorry if we've made you feel incapable or injured, but you have no idea how scary it was, and how helpless we all felt." Ross looked down, not really sure if he should continue, if Chandler would want to hear what he had to say, but he looked back up at Chandler anyway. "Joey got ahold of me at Julie's, he called me from the coffeeshop to tell me that they had an ambulance coming to take you to the hospital. Julie's apartment wasn't far, and I got there before your ambulance did. Joey sounded frantic on the phone, but I guess I still thought that the ambulance was gonna pull up, and you would get off holding an ice pack to your head, making a joke about traffic or something. But when they pulled in, they ran with you so fast that I barely even saw you. Then it felt like we were just waiting. They wouldn't let us see you, and they wouldn't tell us anything because we weren't your family. At one point one of the doctors thought Monica was your wife, so we thought we might get some information out of them, but Phoebe kind of blew it by laughing when one of the nurses called Monica 'Mrs. Bing'. That's when Joey finally begged them to tell us something. He told them that he was your roommate, and that your parents were on their way, but that we just needed to know something. Dr. Coleman asked us if we knew whether or not you had ever signed a 'Do Not Resuscitate' form before. That's when I think I realized how scared I really was. Up until that moment, I had been kind of holding my breath, but right then, when I realized that you were really hurt, I exhaled and let all of my fears just kind of, I dunno'…sink in. He told us that they had put you into an induced coma, and that there may be some damage, but that they wouldn't know anything until the swelling went down more. And then we were just waiting again, waiting for the worst, hoping for the best, but just waiting." Ross had retaken his seat on the couch at some point during his story. He knew Chandler was still watching him, but Ross avoided looking at him anyway. "So, I'm sorry if I've asked you one too many times how you're feeling," Ross said, finally looking up to face Chandler, "I guess apart of me is still waiting for the worst."

Chandler stared hard at Ross. He had heard every word that Ross had said, and had it not been for the blood rushing in his ears, Chandler might actually feel bad for having been so distant to his friends who clearly cared very much about him. There was no room for guilt, however, all of Chandler's energy had focused in on the part of Ross' story where the hospital staff had confused Monica for Chandler's wife. Chandler was trying to keep it together, but knew that there was no use, and he was going to have to ask Ross more, or risk driving himself crazy. "Ross, why did the doctors think that Monica and I were married?" Chandler asked, still staring hard at Ross.

Ross looked up confused. Here he had laid his whole soul out on the table, and Chandler was hung up on this? "Seriously? I don't know man, does it matter?"

"Yeah, Ross, it matters. Think, why did the doctors think that Monica was my wife?" Chandler asked again, getting up from his own seat to head over to the couch where Ross was seated.

Ross thought back for a moment, but didn't need to think too hard. He remembered what Dr. Coleman had told them pretty clearly, "I guess after they got you to stop seizing you were semi-conscious for a little bit. Dr. Coleman said you kept asking for your wife, and that you were calling out for Monica. He just assumed that Monica was your wife." Ross said shrugging, clearly not thinking much of Chandler's concussed behavior.

So it wasn't the induced coma that triggered Chandler's future dream. Up until this point, the logical part of Chandler's brain, which felt exceptionally weaker now, had been trying to pin this whole experience on some kind of hospital anesthesia gone wrong. Regardless of how strongly he felt, maybe there was some kind of explanation hidden in a bad cocktail of drugs. But what Ross was telling him now completely negated this whole theory. Apparently, he had the whole future experience before he even was put in the coma. When did it happen then? Was it when he was having a seizure, or maybe even when he hit his head. Chandler's thoughts were interrupted by Ross' voice.

"Chandler, what's the big deal?" Ross asked, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice. "If you didn't notice, I was…" but Ross didn't have a chance to finish before Chandler cut him off.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Chandler demanded, standing up from the couch and facing Ross.

"Tell you what?" Ross asked, back to being just solely confused.

"Why didn't you tell me what the doctors said about Monica being my wife?" Chandler asked again, his own irritation and frustration clear.

Ross couldn't see what difference it made whether or not any of them had told Chandler this seemingly useless piece of information, and he had no idea why Chandler was getting so pissed off about it, but it was making Ross defensive. "Listen, Chandler, I didn't know it was important, but even if I had I'm not exactly sure when I was supposed to tell you since you've spent the past three days you've been out of the hospital avoiding all of us. Not only that, but believe it or not, you're not the only one in the world with some stuff going on in their life. Not that I would expect you to care, but Rachel and I kissed the other night, and since then I've managed to single handedly end my relationship with Julie and and simultaneously destroy any chance of a future relationship with Rachel. So sorry, I forgot to tell you that you were talking crazy for a few minutes while you were semi-conscious." Ross stood to move towards the front door, now so angry that he had no desire to stay and try to make Chandler see reason.

Chandler watched silently as Ross had ranted at him. He did feel a little guilty for pushing his friends out the way he had, regardless of what year it was, these people still knew him better than anyone. Chandler raised his eyebrows slightly as Ross revealed during his rant at Chandler that he had kissed Rachel. He was even more surprised to hear that Ross had still managed to get the exact same results as the last time without any influence from Chandler. Did that mean that Chandler had no impact on the things that he already knew would happen, even if he purposely tried to change them? As Ross headed towards the door Chandler voiced the question that he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to, "Did you make a list?"

Ross stopped in his tracks, and turned to face Chandler, his face no longer showing anger, but confusion, "Yeah, how'd you know, did Joey tell you?"

Chandler put his head down. So if he could assume that things would still happen in similar ways, regardless of him changing things here and there, then how would this affect his plans for Monica. Would he still be able to find a way to be with her before London, or would he be somehow forced into waiting. Chandler shook his head, he needed clarity. He had been mulling these same thoughts over and over in his head for days now, and he was still as unclear as ever. He looked up at Ross, still waiting for him to answer his question, and considered. "No, Joey didn't tell me. No one told me about it. It was a pro's and con's list, right?" Chandler asked.

Ross narrowed his eyes. He didn't understand what Chandler was saying, if no one told him that he had made a list, then how did he find out abut it? "Yeah, a guy at work suggested it, and I asked Joey to help since he knew both Rachel and Julie. Seriously, dude, how'd you know?"

Chandler made a split second gut decision then to tell Ross. He didn't know if it was a smart decision, but he did know he couldn't go on holding this in to himself any longer. He shook his head, feeling truly defeated, and began, "Ross…I'm gonna tell you something, and you have to promise that before you start to interrupt me with all of your logical science crap, that you just hear me out, okay?" Chandler asked, wondering if he looked as desperate as he felt.

"Okay…" Ross agreed, not really sure what could be so unusual that would prompt Chandler to begin a conversation this way.

"Okay, so I'm not really sure when it happened, but somewhere between me hitting my head and the hospital putting me to sleep for a few days, I had this…I don't even know what to call it, experience, I guess." Chandler watched Ross as he spoke, trying to gauge his face for any kind of reaction.

Ross suddenly knew exactly where Chandler was going with this. No wonder he had been acting so strange - Chandler must have had some sort of "near death experience". While Ross admittedly knew little about them, what he had gathered from a couple of documentaries and even a paper he had read once in college was that they were actually quite common, and that there were quite a few studies in both psychology and neuroscience that helped explained the effects of these experiences. Ross could now understand why Chandler seemed so freaked out, and nodded his head understandingly. "Did you see a light?" Ross asked patiently.

Chandler looked quizzically back at Ross, "What? No, no, it wasn't like that…you know what, never mind." Chandler said walking over to his bedroom. He should have known that Ross was more likely to think that Chandler was crazy than to actually believe the things that he himself couldn't explain.

"Wait, Chandler, c'mon!" Ross called after his friend, "I wasn't trying to give you a hard time man, I just…" but it was too late, Chandler had retreated behind his bedroom door, clearly unwillingly to discuss anything further. Ross shook his head, and decided it was best to just leave things as they were for now.

Chandler awoke a few hours later to a light knocking on his bedroom door. As he got out of his bed, he realized that he hadn't even bothered to take his suit off. He had been so frustrated with Ross, and confused by what Ross had revealed about Chandler in the hospital that he had just collapsed on to his bed, allowing himself for the first time in several days to really sleep. When he opened his door he saw his roommate Joey on the other side, a cautious look on his face.

"Hey buddy," Joey said carefully. "D'ya get some sleep?" he asked, knowing that Chandler hadn't been sleeping well since coming home from the hospital.

"Uh yeah," Chandler said, rubbing his eyes as they adjusted to being open. "What time is it?" Chandler asked, walking into the living room towards the kitchen.

"Just past ten," Joey answered, watching Chandler open the fridge and reach for a beer. "So, uh, you're looking for a new job?" Joey asked, his voice still sounding cautious.

Chandler smiled as he swallowed back a sip of his beer. "So you've talked to Ross?" Chandler asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course man, we care about ya," Joey began, "I just want you to know, that you don't have to feel like you can't tell me stuff. Seriously, whatever you want to talk about, we cant talk about. I just…I miss ya man," Joey said, looking down, "so does everybody else."

Chandler sighed, taking another sip of his beer. "I know, I'm sorry. It's just…I don't know, its hard to explain, everything just feels different now, and I guess I'm just having a hard time finding my footing, ya know?" Chandler asked.

Joey frowned, he didn't know that Chandler had been feeling this way. He had thought it was weird that Chandler had been avoiding all of them, but hadn't been too concerned about it until Ross found them at the coffee house tonight and told them all about Chandler looking for a new job and the conversation that they had had. "I can't say that I do know, but you could try to explain it to me…I mean, I'm not as dumb as I look." Joey said smiling, hoping to help ease Chandler's anxiety about opening up. "I mean, how are things different?"

Chandler sighed as he hopped on top of the kitchen counter, taking another sip of his beer. "Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, that it felt more like a memory than a dream?" Chandler asked, avoiding eye contact with Joey, cautious of sounding crazy.

Joey scrunched his forehead as he considered Chandler's question. He tried to even remember the last dream he had had, but could only pull together snippets of recurring dreams that he had had over the years, nothing that sounded like what Chandler was talking about. "No, I can't say that I have," Joey answered honestly, watching for Chandler's reaction.

"Well, I think I have. I can't shake it, it's like it's haunting me," Chandler stared at his now empty beer bottle and considered getting another, but decided against it, knowing that it would be a bad idea to pick up a buzz while discussing this with Joey. Chandler looked up at Joey again, "So, that's why I've been acting a little crazy, and I'm sorry, 'cause I know I've been kind of a jerk."

Joey rubbed the back of his head thoughtfully while he considered what Chandler had told him. "So what happened, in this dream you can't shake?" Joey asked, as he tried to imagine a dream so powerful that it felt more like a memory.

Chandler laughed, "I don't even know where to start, man." Chandler shook his head and ran his hand across his eyes. He considered telling Joey the whole thing, as much as he could remember. Sure, it would probably take several hours, but he knew Joey would be game to listen. But then what? Chandler wondered. Then Joey would either think he was nuts and enlist the help of Ross or Monica to have him committed, or Joey would believe him. So what if Joey believed him, would it make a difference, would it solve anything? Chandler's mind raced with the possibilities of letting his best friend in on his massive secret. Chandler was quite sure that he didn't expect Joey to have any groundbreaking ideas about what was going on inside his head, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to about it, someone who supported him.

"Chandler, you're thinking so loud I can practically hear ya dude, just talk," Joey said as he watched Chandler struggle to decide whether or not he should share.

Chandler looked up at his best friend, and for the first time since being in the hospital really looked at him. He couldn't quite get passed how much younger everyone looked, he even surprised himself when he caught his own reflection. But while looking at Joey, Chandler saw what he had not allowed himself to accept since coming home from the hospital, which was that Joey was still his best friend. Nothing had changed, in fact quite the opposite. Chandler now realized that he had been avoiding his friends partially out of fear, a growing fear that they were somehow different, as they were certainly not the same people that he had left behind in his dream. Staring at Joey now, Chandler knew he had been entirely stupid; they were the same people, exactly the same in fact, just slightly stripped of experience and age. Chandler chuckled softly at his revelation, and in that moment knew that he could trust Joey with anything, and that had always been true. "Joey, it sound's crazy man, but I think I dreamt the future." Chandler said, relishing in his new found confidence.


	4. Chapter 4

"Joey, it sound's crazy man, but I think I dreamt the future." Chandler said, relishing his new found confidence.

"Ummmm, what?" Joey asked, not sure he really understood what Chandler was trying to say. Sometimes Joey got confused between metaphors and sarcasm, and he couldn't quite tell if this was one of those times.

"Joey, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but when I hit my head something happened. I don't know how else to explain it, but it's like I dreamt the future." Chandler started, now jumping off the kitchen counter and walking towards Joey. "Except that it was more than just a dream, it's like I lived it. At first, after I woke up, I just thought I was crazy, or that maybe the mix of drugs that I had been on had just caused a very lucid dream. But the more time I've had away from it, the more I start to realize that it was something more." Chandler sighed as he watched Joey's expressionless face while he rambled on, "Do I sound completely nuts?" Chandler asked, an edge of desperation in his voice.

Joey considered before answering, but decided to go with the truth, "Yeah, buddy, I mean totally bat shit crazy. But if its any consolation, I completely believe you." Joey clapped his hand on Chandler's shoulder, and walked past him to the refrigerator to grab a beer for himself.

Chandler turned around as he watched his friend walk past him, sounding like he had just delivered nothing more exciting than the week's forecast. "Seriously?" Chandler asked, confused. "If you think it sounds so crazy, then why do you believe me?" Chandler questioned.

Joey turned around to face Chandler, beer now in hand, "Because dude, you're my best friend. I can tell something's really been bothering you since you've been home, so if you had a crazy dream where you saw the future, then tell me about it, maybe we can figure it out together." Joey said, shrugging his shoulders, hoping that Chandler wasn't going to just shut him out again.

Chandler smiled, shaking his head at how stupid he had been the past several days. He had been so caught up in what he felt like he lost, that he had completely forgotten to stop and recognize what he still had.

"So what's the deal, you gonna let me in on the future or what?" Joey asked, hopping down on the couch and settling in.

Chandler smiled as he took a seat across from Joey in the slightly overstuffed chair, realizing that this was the first time in at least several days that he had really smiled, even if it was just from small sense of relief that was beginning to settle in at the prospect of being able to share this secret. The two friends talked for close to an hour, Chandler explaining as much as he could about what he was going through without actually giving Joey a play-by-play on what he had dreamt. For example, he mentioned that he had a beautiful wife, had just had twins, and had just bought a house; but conveniently omitted the fact that his beautiful wife was Monica. Chandler knew that that piece of information would probably be a bit of a shock, much as it had been when everyone found out about Monica and Chandler in his dream future, and he was pushing his luck as it was with Joey's acceptance of this story. So, Chandler just spoke with as little detail as possible, describing more how he felt about things, than what had actually happened. He let Joey in on what had been taking up almost all of his head space, how since getting out of the hospital he hadn't been able to focus on anything else except getting his "dream life" back, and that had been why he had started looking for different jobs.

When Chandler had finally paused, pushing himself off the chair to pace while he formed words for all that had been going on in his head over the past several days, Joey took the opportunity to finally ask what he had been wondering since Chandler had started speaking. "Okay, so let me get this straight - you had a detailed, life-like experience of the future, up until 2004, before waking up only to realize that it didn't really happen. But since you've woken up, the things that you 'dreamt' have so far been accurate, like the whole Ross &amp; Rachel list thing - is that right?" Joey asked, doing his best to sum up most of what he had heard. Chandler was still pacing and only nodded his head in approval of Joey's summation, allowing for Joey to continue. "So, if we were to say then, that what you had dreamt was probably gonna happen, I guess I don't see where the problem is," Joey said, watching as Chandler stopped mid pace with a look of incredulity.

"Seriously, Joe…you don't see the problem?" Chandler asked. "You don't think that its kind of a problem for me that I have to start all over? That all of the things that I've worked for over the past eight or nine years are just gone, you don't see how that's a problem?"

Joey rolled his eyes, standing up from the couch to approach Chandler. "You know what Chandler, you're right. I'm sorry, it must be truly terrible knowing how great your life is gonna turn out, what a curse!" Joey exclaimed sarcastically, shaking his head at Chandler's glass half empty attitude. "Dude, if what you saw is real, then what you have is not a problem, its a freakin' winning lottery ticket. So you don't know exactly how it all works yet, but we'll figure it out. Who knows, maybe this happened to you for a reason, maybe you were meant to see all of that so that you could have the opportunity to not waste so much time on all of the things you've been afraid of, all of the things that you've let hold you back."

Chandler let Joey's words sink in as he considered them. Maybe Joey was right…maybe he'd been so busy worrying about what he lost and how he was going to get it back, that he wasn't seeing this situation for what it really was. Chandler sighed as he ran his hands through his hair, his head now swimming with new possibilities that he had never even considered. "I don't know man, maybe you're right. I just can't get out of my own head on this one, ya know?"

Joey nodded his head in understanding. "Listen dude, just know that whatever happens, whatever you do, I've got your back, okay? Just quit avoiding us, its starting to freak everyone out." Joey clapped his hand on Chandler's back one more time and headed for his bedroom. "Oh hey, quick question," he asked, turning around before closing the door, "do I end up becoming a big star?" Joey waited, somewhat nervously for Chandler to answer.

Chandler laughed out loud, not having expected that question. He considered his answer carefully, not really sure what he should or shouldn't reveal. "You know what Joe, in 2004, you are by far, the biggest star I know," Chandler finally answered, hoping it would suffice.

"Really?" Joey asked, his excitement evident. Joey's grin went from ear to ear, his head clearly filled with hope and possibilities, "thanks, Chandler," Joey said smiling, bidding Chandler a goodnight as he closed his bedroom door.

Chandler, still chuckling softly, shoved his hands into his pockets as he headed to his own bedroom. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all, he thought.

Christmas had come and gone, much as Chandler had remembered it to be. Phoebe found out her dad wasn't really the picture frame guy, and had dragged Joey and Chandler with her to go meet him. Monica and Rachel still had their Christmas party, and still managed to melt most of their guests. Everything was pretty much the same as he remembered, except that Chandler had found a new job at an advertising agency as a copywriter. He had been interested to see if changing certain things would have some kind of chain reaction on other things, but so far it had not. He allowed himself to settle back into his group of friends, attempting, albeit poorly, to pretend that he hadn't been avoiding them in the first place. He was fortunate that they were graceful about it, none of them calling him out for having been such a jerk, and following his lead in pretending as though nothing had happened. Although, not everything could return to normal - Chandler noticed that the tension between him and Monica had not dissipated. He couldn't help the way that he felt, he didn't even know how to look at her anymore. There were times that they would all be at the coffee house, conversing about something insignificant, and Chandler would catch himself staring. He knew that she noticed, in fact he was relatively surprised that no one else had, but he couldn't help himself; Chandler missed her. He saw her every day, but Chandler missed her more than he knew he could miss someone. He knew he had to do something, but he just wasn't sure what his play should be. Chandler couldn't risk messing this up, he still wasn't entirely sure that changing things to make up for time was what he should be doing, but when it came to Monica, he knew that waiting it out wasn't an option.

Chandler sat alone in the coffee house, glancing disinterestedly at the pages of the magazine in his hands while he sipped a cooling cup of espresso. He glanced up briefly when he heard the door, noticing Joey entering alone. "Hey man," Chandler offered, taking another sip from his cup. Chandler had to hand it to Joey, he had been relatively supportive about everything he had told him. Of course it helped that Chandler had successfully predicted a few minor events such as the girls tipping everyone with Christmas cookies and what Joey's parents would get him for Christmas. All the same, Chandler was grateful that he had a confidant, no less a confidant who was as supremely unconcerned with the future as Joey. Chandler had half expected Joey to be bugging him for major details about his life, or at least asking for outcomes to sporting events, but other than Joey asking initially if he would be famous, he hadn't budged in his resolve of indifference towards the future.

"Hey buddy," Joey responded, rubbing his gloveless hands together as he sat down in the giant stuffed chair next to the couch. "Guess who I just ran into outside the apartments?" Joey asked, a sly smile spreading across his face at the juicy piece of information only he was in on.

Chandler raised his eyebrow and gave a quick half smirk, putting down the magazine he was barely reading so that he could play along, "Okay…was it Yasmine Bleeth? I heard she's pissed I wont return her calls," Chandler guessed, chuckling.

"Ha ha, you wish pal." Joey replied, shaking his head at Chandler' absurdity. "No, it was Fun Bobby," Joey said reaching for the plate of cookies on the table in front of Chandler.

Chandler's eyebrows shot up in alarm as he registered the name. "Fun Bobby? Wha-why-what was Fun Bobby doing outside of our apartments?" Chandler asked, noticing that his voice's pitch was significantly off, but he was unable to adjust as he focused on the panic that began to creep from the center of his chest. Chandler had completely forgotten about Fun Bobby. Richard, Pete - these were the threats that Chandler had considered when he looked back at Monica's dating history, knowing that he would have to make his move before one of them got to her first, but Fun Bobby had somehow fallen off of his radar.

"I guess he was looking for Monica," Joey answered while chewing his cookie, unaware of Chandler's distress, "he said something about wanting to ask her out for New Years Eve. How great would that be huh? You know she's been feeling pretty low about being out of work and not having a boyfriend," Joey conversed while picking crumbs off of his jacket and reaching for another cookie.

"Was she there? Did he find her? What'd she say?" Chandler asked, now at the edge of his seat while he pulled the cookie dish out of Joey's reach so that he would focus.

Joey looked up as the cookie's slid out of his reach, finally registering the alarm in Chandler's voice. "Dude, you alright, you look like someone hit you in the stomach," Joey commented, noticing that all of the color had seemed to drain out of Chandler's face.

Before Chandler could answer Phoebe walked in, interrupting Chandler's desperation and Joey's confusion. "Oh hey guys, guess what?" Phoebe asked, sitting down on the couch next to Chandler, clearly unaware that anything was wrong.

"Joey, just answer the question," Chandler said, raising his voice to regain Joey's focus.

"Which one?" Joey asked.

"Which one, what? What'd I miss?" Phoebe questioned, looking back and forth between Joey and Chandler.

"All of them, any of them, just tell me what happened!" Chandler demanded, now standing.

"Woah, dude, calm down. I don't know, I told him that she wasn't home, so he said he'd call later, then he left. What's the big deal?" Joey asked, as he watched Chandler run to the coat stand at the front of the coffee house.

Chandler didn't stop to answer, he quickly threw on his coat and ran outside. He knew that since Monica hadn't been working she had volunteered to take Ben to and from daycare, and was probably dropping him off at Susan and Carol's right about now. His best bet if he was going to find her before Fun Bobby did would be to cut her off before she got back to the apartments or the coffee house, just in case Fun Bobby was staking them out until she got home. Susan and Carol's apartment was only a few blocks away, so Chandler just decided to run it as opposed to taking a cab and risk missing her on the street. His mind was moving so quickly, he didn't allow himself time to stop and think of what he would do when he found her. Chandler knew that he wasn't entirely ready to make his move yet, but he definitely wasn't ready to watch her be with another guy - even if that guy was Fun Bobby, and even if Chandler knew that they had only lasted a couple of weeks - it wasn't going to happen, no way. As Chandler ran up to the street with Susan and Carol's building he spotted Monica walking out of the front doors, maybe fifty feet away, and definitely out of earshot with all of the street noise in between them. Chandler sprinted for her, he could feel his lungs burning, but he didn't care. He practically lunged when she was within reach, and just about scared her half to death as his hand clasped around her back shoulder.

"Jesus! Chandler, you scared the crap out of me!" Monica exclaimed, putting her hand to her chest. "What are you doing here?" She asked, looking at Chandler's disheveled state, still recovering from the scare he had given her.

"Ne-new Years - New Years Eve," Chandler panted, trying to catch his breath, placing both hands on his knees as he doubled over taking deep breaths.

"New Years Eve?" Monica asked, still perplexed as to what was going on.

Chandler breathed deep and stood up straight. He ran his hand nervously through his hair as he looked Monica in the eye. He could tell she was confused, and honestly surprised to see him here. Chandler tried to steady his nerve as he reminded himself that there was a future where this woman had fallen in love with him. Granted, Chandler wasn't sure how set in stone that future was, but he was confident of at least his love for her. He allowed both of his hands to slip into his pockets as he tried now to picture a different future with her. He knew that he was about to change everything, and while he was scared silly Chandler knew that the alternative would be near impossible to bear.

"Chandler, are you okay?" Monica asked. He was staring again. Monica felt as though just about every time she looked at Chandler recently that he was staring at her. It was…unusual, to say the least. It wasn't like a pervy creepy stare, Monica was familiar with those from strangers on the street or in the subway sometimes. No, the way Chandler stared at her, it was like he was looking for something, or someone. Monica snapped her fingers in front of Chandler's face to break him out of his trance.

Chandler blinked, realizing too late that freaking Monica out probably wasn't the best foot to start this conversation off on. Chandler laughed and looked down, trying to bring some normalcy back to this situation. Chandler looked back up, deciding that if he didn't do it now, then Monica would undoubtedly be kissing Fun Bobby on New Year's Eve, which the thought of almost made him sick. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me on New Year's Eve?" Chandler asked, trying his best to keep his voice normal and steady.

Monica raised her eyebrow, "New Years Eve? Weren't you going to some party with Joey?" Monica asked, not quite sure what Chandler was getting at. Was he actually asking her out on a date, or was he just looking for a friend to hang out with.

"Uh yeah, I was supposed to," Chandler started to explain, remembering the plans he had made with Joey. "But, I reconsidered."

Monica smiled slightly, recognizing how nervous Chandler was she realized that he must be asking her out on a date. Monica was surprised, though. While Chandler was definitely nervous, his hands shoved in his pockets while his shoe continuously dragged back and forth on the sidewalk, there was an air of confidence to him that Monica was not familiar with. It was almost as though he knew something that she did not. "Chandler, are you asking me out on a date?" Monica asked, needing to know for sure.

Chandler swallowed heavily and looked back down at the sidewalk. This was it, he couldn't back out now and say that he had just been asking as a friend, he was either going to man up or risk losing her to Fun Bobby, even if it was just for a few weeks. He lifted his head back up, rolled his shoulders back, and made direct eye contact so there would be no confusion. "Yes, I'm asking you out on a date, on New Years Eve, if you don't already have plans, of course." Chandler said, hoping his voice didn't betray him and his nerves.

While Monica had suspected that Chandler's feelings for her had changed sometime recently, she couldn't believe it now that she was actually here, with him asking her out on a real date. Monica couldn't even remember the last girl Chandler had really asked out on a date. Well, it definitely explained the crazy tension she had been feeling between them for the past several weeks. It was almost like there was a new, extremely taught, thread that connected them, and both Monica and Chandler were acting with extra care to make sure that the thread didn't break. Monica wasn't really sure what to think of all of this, it was Chandler after all, her best friend. Did she really want to risk their friendship by opening up other windows in their relationship? Not only that, but who was she kidding here? Chandler may be acting differently lately, but she knew him, better than just about anyone. He was her best friend, sure, but he was still helplessly commitment phobic, immature, and could even be considered chauvinistic at times. "I don't know, Chandler," Monica started, prepared to explain to him that their friendship meant more to her than he knew, and it wasn't something she was prepared to risk for a date.

"Before you say anything," Chandler started, sensing her hesitation, "I just want to try to explain something to you," he said. Chandler stared at Monica now, focusing on her eyes as he went to continue. He was hoping that by just looking into her eyes, he could somehow trick his mind into a sense of comfort, as if he could convince himself he was talking to the Monica that had already committed herself to him forever. Chandler knew he could say anything to that Monica and that she would understand, that she would support him, so he knew that if he pretended that he was talking to her, it would be easy admitting things that he normally would not say out loud. "I know that I've been acting weird since the accident, and I'm sorry if I'm freaking you out." Chandler noticed Monica's hands as he began talking, they were gloveless. Without thinking, he reached down to take her hands in his, to warm them as he had done at least a million times in his head. "You should know though, if I'm acting differently, its because I feel differently. I mean, I'm still me, obviously, but I definitely feel different." Chandler paused, allowing Monica a moment to react to what he was trying to say.

"Different how?" Monica asked although she was slightly terrified of the answer. She realized though that she wasn't afraid because she might not want it, she was afraid because it may be exactly what she wanted. Monica was so transfixed she hadn't even noticed her hands in his.

Chandler continued, now feeling for the first time like he was talking to his wife, the woman he could tell anything to. "Different, like, I want things that I never knew I wanted, or that I never thought that I would want. I guess its things that I never really believed I deserved before, ya know?" he asked, looking at her for understanding.

Monica nodded, although it was like she was talking to a completely different person, she felt like she could understand what he was saying. "So, do you think you deserve these things now?" She asked, realizing that his hands were clasped around hers, his thumbs slowly moving back and forth between her fingers.

"No," Chandler laughed with a small smile, "no, I definitely still don't deserve anything, but I'm ready to earn it now."

His confidence was jarring, something that he had definitely only recently acquired. Here was Chandler Bing, standing in front of her, admitting personal truths about himself that made him extremely vulnerable, and he was still standing, with a smile on his face, as comfortable with her as though they were discussing the weather. Monica realized then, Chandler trusted her, completely. Sure, his new found ego was certainly playing a role in his confessions, but Monica knew that Chandler would not be able to stand here and say these things unless he had complete and unfaltering trust in her. Somehow that knowledge touched Monica, more than anything he could ever say could. "Okay, then," she nearly whispered.

Chandler raised his eyebrows, not quite sure he had heard her correctly, "Wait, what'd you say?" he asked, his heart thumping so loudly in his chest that he was sure he wouldn't hear her answer him a second time.

Monica smiled nervously, urged on by the steady rise of butterflies she felt swarming in her stomach, "I said okay, then. New Years Eve, its a date."


	5. Chapter 5

"I said okay, then. New Years Eve, its a date."

Monica walked back to the coffee house by herself. Chandler, who had somehow sensed that she would need some time to just be with her own thoughts, had said that he was going to go up to Susan and Carol's for a minute to properly thank them for visiting in the hospital as much as they had, and promised to find Monica later. She shook her head, Monica knew she was being crazy, of course Chandler hadn't _sensed_ what she needed. Monica shoved her hands deep in her pockets as she walked to avoid the cold, missing the warmth they had felt while enveloped within Chandler's hands and entwining fingers. 'Oh God,' Monica thought, this was crazy. Could she really be harboring feelings for Chandler? She had been ready to tell him no, gently of course, but still, no. But there had been something about what he had said, his steadfastness while he told her he was ready to earn it had made her knees weak. By the time Chandler had finished talking, Monica wouldn't have been able to form the word 'no' if she had even tried. As she continued to walk, slowly despite the cold, Monica questioned her agreement to New Year's Eve and whether or not if was just an impulse reaction out of surprise to the things that he had said, if this date was something she really wanted or not. Doubt slowly began to creep up her chest as she considered different outcomes, and 'what-ifs' began to swim through her mind like uneasy minnows. Monica decided to walk straight past the coffee house and towards the apartments, not wanting the company of her friends to distract her from her thoughts. Once she had made it back to the solitude of Apt. 20, she decided that a nice hot bubble bath was well in order. As Monica allowed the water to run, looking through her different bath treatments for something that would help soothe her anxiety, the phone began to ring. She considered not answering it, but thought that it might be Rachel at the coffee house, wondering where she was. Monica sighed as she walked out of the bathroom and towards the phone next to the couch, bathrobe wrapped tightly around her torso. "Hello?" she answered.

"Monica!" A booming but friendly voice greeted on the other end, "I was hoping I would catch you tonight, its me, Bobby."

"Oh wow, Bobby, how are you?" Monica asked, honestly surprised by the call. She hadn't spoken to him in almost a year.

"I've been good, how have you been?" Bobby asked, making conversation.

"I've been okay," Monica answered. She honestly couldn't say she was 'good', being in between jobs. Monica was searching for a more descriptive answer, but was cut off by Bobby, who had accepted 'okay', without any further questioning.

"Great to hear! Say listen, I know its a little bit last minute, but I wasn't entirely sure what my plans would be, and I just got invited to this great party on Friday for New Year's Eve, what'd ya say you and me give it a go again and you come as my date?" Bobby asked.

Monica was stunned into silence. Was this really happening? Her mouth hung open involuntarily as she tried to form words. "I…I," Monica began to stutter, but was interrupted by the door of the apartment opening. Monica looked over to watch Chandler walk in, an apprehensive smile playing on his face as he stood in the doorway, clearly unsure as to whether or not he should enter with her on the phone. Monica couldn't believe her luck. She had been internally moping for months about being single, and now here she was, with two men, neither of which she was even sure she wanted to date, calling on her.

"Monica? Are you still there?" Bobby asked, wondering if their connection had been lost.

"Yeah, Bobby, I'm sorry, I'm still here." Monica answered, pulling herself together. She knew what she needed to do, having already agreed to go out with Chandler on New Year's Eve. She looked up at Chandler, still standing in the doorway, and was surprised to see panic on his face, did he know why Fun Bobby was calling, she wondered. "Listen, I'm flattered, but I already made plans for New Year's Eve, I'm sorry." Monica explained.

"Oh," Bobby responded, the disappointment in his voice was evident. "Well that's okay, maybe some other time, then?" He asked, his ego now deflated.

"Yeah, maybe." Monica agreed, although she knew that the chances of her and Fun Bobby going out again were slim. "Listen, I'm sorry to cut you off, but someone just walked in. Have fun at your party, okay?" Monica said, attempting to get off of the phone with him as quickly and pain free as possible.

"Yeah, okay, uh…you have a good New Year's Monica," Bobby replied before hanging up.

Monica set the phone back into the cradle and looked up at Chandler from where she was sitting on the back of the couch. "Hey," she greeted him softly.

"Hey," Chandler replied, finally closing the door behind him. Chandler was racking his brain for something to say. He hadn't intended to walk in on that conversation, but now that he had he was analyzing every piece of it. Monica hadn't told Fun Bobby that she had another date, just that she had plans already. She had even apologized, Chandler noted. He wondered if she was sorry that she was going out with him instead of Bobby. Chandler felt the beginnings of guilt seeping into his chest at the thought that he might be preventing her from doing something she really wanted to do. His heart lurched at the mere idea of it all, not just Monica being with Fun Bobby, but Monica preferring to be with him.

"So, that was Fun Bobby," Monica began, attempting to break the awkward silence between the two of them.

"Yeah," Chandler answered simply, shoving his hands in his pockets as he approached her on the couch.

"Did you know?" Monica asked, her curiosity getting the best of her. Chandler looked up at her in response, the guilt was written all over his face. "You did, didn't you? You knew that he was going to ask me out for New Year's Eve." Monica said, it was no longer a question, but a statement.

"Listen, Monica, I'm sorry. If you'd prefer to be out with Fun Bobby on New Year's then I get it, and you can call him back and tell him that you'll go with him." Chandler started quickly, betraying the voice inside his head that was screaming at him to stop. But Chandler couldn't stop, the image of Monica unhappy because he had forced her into something was haunting his conscience. "I may have heard that he was planning on asking you out," he continued, "and so I thought that if I could just get to you first…," but Chandler was cut off.

"That what?" Monica asked, confusion and anger ebbing their way to the surface, "You thought that you'd win? Did you even really want to go out with me in the first place, or were you just trying to edge out Bobby?" Monica asked as she stood from the back of the couch, her arms crossing in front of her.

"What?! No, Mon, it wasn't like that." Chandler tried to explain as he reached his hand out to place on her shoulder, but before he reached her he thought better of it and pulled it back to run nervously through his hair as he continued. It was difficult, but he had to keep reminding himself that this was not his wife. "I did want to ask you out, but I've just been trying to find the right time, and to be honest, build up the courage. So when I heard that Bobby was going to ask you out for New Year's Eve I knew that I couldn't keep waiting or I was gonna miss my chance." Chandler watched as his explanation softened the look on Monica's face, so he continued. "I'm sorry if I made you think that I was just trying to win you. I thought you knew already, but you mean a lot more to me than that."

Monica sighed, allowing her initial anger to fall away. She wasn't sure about how she felt with what she was left with, though. Here they were, not even dating, and already their friendship was on the verge of crumbling. "Chandler, I don't know about all of this," Monica started.

Chandler looked down in disappointment. "Its okay, like I said, you should call Fun Bobby back and tell him you're free, I understand." The voice in his head was angrier than ever, but Chandler didn't care. It wasn't in him to force Monica to do anything. The woman that he loved, loved him back - freely.

Monica sighed again, but this time in frustration. "This has nothing to do with Bobby. It's about you and me and our friendship. Chandler, I don't know if you've really thought this through." Monica said, her voice slightly raised as she took a step towards Chandler. She searched for a way to explain to him why this was such a bad idea. She needed him to understand all of the doubts and worries that she had been mulling over since leaving him outside of Carol and Susan's only just hours before.

Chandler was staring at Monica, relief once again swimming through his insides now that he knew she didn't want to go out with Bobby instead of him. He listened half-heartedly as she began to explain the risk in them going out, but Chandler couldn't really pay attention. He already knew what their outcome would be, and so for him, the only risk was them not being together. "I bet I've thought about this more than you think," Chandler replied, continuing to stare at her face and the apprehensive look that was now playing over it.

Monica watched as Chandler seemed to transform in front of her. All traces of guilt, worry, and disappointment were gone. Instead, she realized, she was now faced with the new Chandler. This was the Chandler that she had caught stealing glances at her for weeks, the same Chandler that had boldly chased her down in the middle of the street to ask her out on a date. Monica opened her mouth to protest again, to explain how very badly this could all go, but her words got lost before they had even formed on her tongue. The way he looked at her, like he was devoted to something she didn't even know existed, made her heart do things she didn't know it could do.

Chandler continued to stare as she opened and then closed her mouth again. He wasn't sure what she had been planning on saying, but was sure that he wouldn't have listened much anyway. He couldn't help himself, the more he was around her, the more he missed her. It was in these moments that Chandler was one hundred percent certain that what he had experienced inside his head had been real. Whether it had been the future or some alternate plane of existence, Chandler neither knew nor cared, he just knew that every second of it was real. Everything about the way he reacted to her, from his quickening heartbeat to the hairs that stood up on the base of his neck, it all told him the same thing, it was not just a dream. Before he realized what he was doing, Chandler found himself closing the already small gap that existed between him and Monica. Reaching for her waist, he pulled her to him slowly, moving his other hand to the side of her head. He leaned forward, and although it felt as though it was the millionth time, he recognized the significance in that this was truly their first kiss. Chandler found Monica's lips easily, and moved his own slowly against hers as his hand tightened possessively around her side and his other hand tugged gently at her hair. Monica didn't react at first, but as Chandler was about to pull away he felt her respond to him. Monica brought her own arms up to wrap around his neck and Chandler felt her lips move with his as she pushed her body impossibly closer to him.

Monica hadn't seen it coming. Maybe because she had been transfixed, attempting to account for all of the subtle differences between her old friend Chandler and this new man that stood in front of her. Monica had still been attempting to find words to talk the both of them out of this whole scenario when he had, seemingly without warning, pulled her to him and kissed her. Her mind had immediately gone blank, the only thing Monica knew now was Chandler. The way he touched her, his hands bringing her to him firmly, his fingers playing in her hair. The way he smelled, Monica had never given it any thought before, but his aftershave was now driving her crazy, and she suddenly became concerned that she would never get over it. Before she even realized what she was doing, Monica found herself kissing Chandler back, her entire body reacting to him and the things he was doing to her. She heard herself moan against his mouth as she felt his tongue part her lips, and she wrapped her arms even tighter around his neck, hanging on for dear life. She wasn't entirely concentrating on her feet, but she realized that he must have moved her back because she felt herself hit the back of the couch as he lifted her body so that she was sitting on the top of the couch's back. As Monica went to wrap her legs around Chandler's waist, still attempting to bring him closer, she suddenly became very aware that she was still wearing only her threadbare robe. While the adrenaline coursing through her body was tempting her to throw caution to the wind, Monica's logic kicked in and she hastily pulled her lips away from Chandler's. Monica closed her eyes while she tried to regain her composure. Though her arms were still wrapped tightly around Chandler's neck to keep from falling backwards on the couch, Monica realized that they didn't need to be because his large hands were holding her waist firmly, protectively, so that she was in no real risk of slipping. As Monica began to open her eyes, she found a set of blue eyes, although much darker now than she remembered them, staring back at her. Before she could stop herself, she let the first word that came to her mind fall out of her mouth, "woah," she uttered softly.

"Yeah," Chandler agreed, his senses coming back to him now that the soft buzzing in his ears had been broken with actual coherent words between them. He slowly released her, making sure that Monica was in control of her own balance, and took a small step back from the couch. Chandler's mind was racing. He thought of London, and of his "other" first kiss with Monica. A part of him was sad, realizing that wasn't going to be their story anymore; but as he thought of this Chandler realized that this was something he had always wanted. While living his "other life", Chandler wouldn't have given anything to change how things had happened between him and Monica, but there had always been a part of him that regretted things not happening sooner, there had been so much wasted time. Now here he was, strangely, even miraculously, being handed the extra time with her that he had always secretly missed. Still, Chandler reconciled that no matter how things played out now, he would still always stay on London time. Chandler finally released his hand from Monica's waist, and took a breath. "So, are we still on for New Year's Eve, then?" he asked, still attempting to catch his breath.

Monica stared blankly at Chandler for a moment. Was he really thinking about something other than what had just occurred between them? "Uh, yeah, New Year's Eve," Monica agreed, "yes."

"Okay, good." Chandler nodded, slowly backing away from her. "Uh, dress warm, we'll be outside most of the night, if that's okay?" Chandler asked, not wanting to give away his plans.

"Okay," Monica agreed, "no problem." Monica's thoughts were all hazy, wasn't she just about to explain to Chandler that them going out together would be a mistake? Now here she was agreeing to dress warm. Her thoughts were interrupted though, as Rachel walked into the apartment.

"Hey guys," greeted Rachel as she entered the flat.

"Hey Rach!" Monica greeted excitedly - trying to act normal was not something she did gracefully.

Rachel raised her eyebrow slowly at Monica as she finished taking off her coat and gloves, "you okay, Mon?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Monica asked nervously, she looked over at Chandler for help, and was annoyed to see that he seemed to be amused by her neurosis. "I uhh, was just telling Chandler how Fun Bobby asked me out for New Year's Eve." Monica said, searching for something that would lead the conversation away from what her and Chandler had really been doing.

Chandler smirked, looking down and shaking his head slightly. Monica clearly was not the pro that he was at hiding this sort of thing.

"Oh wow, that's great Mon!" Rachel said, walking over to her best friend. "So where's he taking you?"

Shit, Monica had clearly not thought this through. "Well, he's not, I turned him down." Monica said as she avoided eye contact with Rachel.

"What? Why'd you turn him down, I thought you liked Fun Bobby?" Rachel asked incredulously.

"Meh," Monica shrugged. "You know, feelings change I guess," Monica explained, looking over to Chandler again.

Rachel just stared at Monica as though she had lost her mind. "I mean, I guess." Rachel looked back and forth between Monica and Chandler, too tired to try to guess at why they both seemed strange. "Well, listen, I had a crazy shift at the coffee house, so I think I'm just gonna call it a night." Rachel said walking towards her bedroom. "Goodnight Mon, goodnight Chandler," she said, throwing her hand up in the air for a slight wave without turning back.

Monica and Chandler both called back goodnight and watched as Rachel closed her bedroom door. Before Chandler even realized what was happening Monica had made her way over to him by the kitchen table and pulled his head down so that their lips were once again crashing against each other, hands were everywhere. Chandler was caught so off guard that he stumbled backwards sightly, but he quickly found his balance and moved the two of them forward so that they were both stable. He was about to move her again so that he could pin her against the counter, but she pulled back just as suddenly as she had pounced. She stood now completely separated from him, staring and breathing heavily. Chandler brought his hand up to his mouth and gripped the chair next to him to keep himself from lunging, desperate for the taste of her.

"Sorry," Monica apologized, although she wasn't sure that she really was sorry. "I just wanted to check," she explained, although she realized as soon as she said it that she was actually being quite vague.

Chandler nodded his head in understanding. He needed no further explanation, in his mind he had been deciphering Monica's code for years, and considered himself to be an expert. "You're not crazy, I feel it too," he offered, hoping this would help ease the anxiety he was sure she was feeling. He could vividly picture a conversation that he had had with Monica while they were engaged, about this very feeling. They had been at the point in their relationship where they were both comfortable enough to reveal things that made them beyond vulnerable, and on this occasion they had found themselves discussing their first kiss, along with quite a few other firsts that they had shared that evening in London. Monica had revealed to Chandler that she had always felt something, from their very first kiss and every one that had come after, more than just butterflies. She had described it more as a pull, almost as if someone had pulled a hook from behind her naval and yanked it forward, thats what she felt. Chandler had been astounded, but only because she had just perfectly described the feeling he felt, only his he thought was more in his chest. They had stayed up all that night, whispering secrets to each other that they had not yet shared, binding themselves together as closely as they could before they officially committed the rest of their lives to one another. Chandler smiled slightly at the memory, hoping that one day he would be able to re-create something similar.

Monica tilted her head to the side slightly in confusion, about to ask how he knew what it was that she had wanted to check without her giving any further explanation, but was unable to start her question as Chandler quietly bade her goodnight and walked out of the apartment. That was impossible, was she really so easy to read, she wondered. She shook her head as she walked to her own bedroom, not quite being able to shake the feeling that Chandler was somehow in her head.

With New Year's Eve quickly approaching, Monica and Chandler were avoiding each other better than ever. The only words they had really spoken directly to each other were in regards to the time that Chandler would be at her place to 'pick her up'. Besides having no idea what to say to him, Monica was terrified that she would throw herself at him again, regardless of where they were or who they were in front of. She hadn't been able so far to stop herself from thinking of the way he kissed her, how good it felt - how right it felt.

Chandler's determination to keep his distance was entirely based on the fear that Monica would try to cancel if he allowed her enough time to get the words out. He knew she was nervous, he could feel it rolling off of her in waves whenever he was in the same room as her, but he knew if he could just get her alone, on their date, that he could find a way to ease her into the idea of them together, as a couple.

Monica awoke on New Year's Eve with her heart already at an irregular pace. She went through the day to the best of her ability, attempting to act as though everything was normal. The veil she threw up though was thin, and Rachel noticed something was up almost immediately.

"Hey, Monica?" Rachel asked as she watched Monica mixing pancake batter from the couch.

Yeah Rach, what's up?" Monica turned around to look at her roommate

"Is that a new recipe?" Rachel asked.

"No," Monica said looking down at her mixture, "it's the same one I always use, why?"

"No, its nothing, I guess I just didn't know that you always used lemonade instead of milk."

Monica looked over at the carton she had just poured into her batter, 'damn', it was the lemonade. "Sorry, I guess I wasn't paying attention," Monica admitted as she went to dump the mix down the sink.

"Is everything alright?" Rachel asked.

Monica looked at her friend, choosing her words carefully, "Have you noticed anything different about Chandler lately?" Monica asked.

Rachel scrunched her face as she thought, "Different? Different how?" she asked.

"I don't know, I mean, different like, like he's acting more mature?" Monica asked, trying to find the right words that summed up the changes in Chandler.

"I guess…" Rachel agreed, having not really given it much thought, "I mean there was the whole career change thing, but its not all that unusual, especially after his accident," Rachel pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Monica said, sighing softly. She decided to change the subject quickly, not wanting Rachel to become too suspicious with her line of questioning around Chandler. "So, what time are you and Phoebe going to the party?" Monica asked, hoping it was enough.

"Well the party doesn't start until eight, but I told her I'd meet her at her place around six." Rachel said, getting up from the couch to walk towards the kitchen.

"Why are you guys meeting so early, I thought the party was in her building?" Monica asked, not really interested, but a little relieved that she'd have time to get ready for her date without Rachel or anyone else there to ask twenty questions about where she was going and who she was going with.

"It is, but Phoebe said she would want help putting her hair up, I guess there's this guy on the floor beneath her that's going to be there that she wants to impress," Rachel explained, shrugging slightly. "Are you sure you don't want to come with?" Rachel asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm not really in the mood to party with a bunch of strangers. I've found that the common go-to conversation starter is 'so, what do you do?' and I'm betting my unemployment won't win me any popularity awards." Monica was relieved that she at least didn't have to lie about this, before Chandler had asked her out, she had planned on staying in this year.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, 'waitress' isn't much better," Rachel pointed out, turning around to head to her bedroom.

The rest of the day went by relatively uneventfully. Ross had stopped by under the guise of having Monica help steam his suit for the party he was attending at the museum, but Monica really knew that he was there to see what Rachel's plans were, probably worried that she had a date. Joey also came over later in the afternoon to raid the refrigerator, but offered up nothing about where Chandler was or what he was doing, and Monica, too nervous she would give herself away, didn't dare to ask. Finally, Rachel was leaving the apartment, offering one last time for Monica to come with. When she declined, Rachel wished her a Happy New Year, and walked out the door. Monica looked at the clock on the VCR, almost six, which meant she had plenty of time to get herself together before Chandler would be there to pick her up at ten. She quickly started running around like a crazy person, surprised at how she felt even more nervous than she had throughout the day. Chandler had told her to dress warmly, but she still wanted to look nice - it was after all, New Year's Eve - so she opted for a long sleeve dress, black and simple, but still elegant. She pulled her hair up, showing off her neckline, and put in a simple pair of studs, nothing too flashy. Monica completed the outfit with a black wool coat and a pair of black heels. Just as Monica was looking for her leather gloves she heard the front door open.

"Monica?" Chandler called, slightly nervous.

"Yeah, I'm here," Monica answered as she walked out of her bedroom.

"Wow," Chandler breathed, taking in her appearance. He could never quite get over how stunning she really was, regardless of what she was wearing. He did love, however, that she got dressed up just for him. "You look…gorgeous," he offered, knowing that the word didn't quite do her justice.

"Thank you," Monica smiled. She took in Chandler's own appearance. He wore a simple black suit with a white button down and no tie. "You look very handsome," she said shyly, feeling slightly awkward to admit this to her friend.

Chandler smiled, he had almost forgotten how good she could make him feel. "You ready?" He asked, extending his arm to take hers.

"Yeah, let's go." Monica said, linking her arm in his.

Chandler led Monica out of the apartment and towards the staircase. She hesitated slightly, giving him a questioning look, as he went to lead her upstairs as opposed to down, but didn't say anything and allowed him to guide her towards the roof.

Monica gasped when Chandler opened the door to the roof. He had set up a white canopy tent, and she could see from the doorway of the roof that inside was lit with fairy lights. The tent enclosure wasn't very big, but big enough that as they walked towards it she could see that he had been able to set up a table and two chairs inside of it. There was also room in the corner of the tent for what looked like a propane heating lamp, so that as she entered the enclosure Monica found that she wasn't cold, despite the temperature outside. Monica looked at Chandler, to say she was shocked was an understatement. "Chandler, when did you - no, how did you do all of this?" She asked.

Chandler laughed, "I may have had to bribe Treeger, but it was worth it," he pulled out Monica's chair, allowing her to sit while he grabbed a bottle of wine out of the bucket of ice on the table to pour for her.

Monica noticed the label on the wine, it was her favorite. She glanced at Chandler who was smiling, clearly he knew. Monica tried to remember the last time she had mentioned the wine, but was completely sidetracked when he lifted a cover off of the plate in the middle of the table. "Oh my God, Chandler…is that…" Monica began to ask, peering over it to get a better look.

"Yup," Chandler answered, cutting it into slices, "triple chocolate cake from that bakery you like near Battery Park." He found his own seat and went to lift his glass to make a toast, but stopped when he saw Monica was staring at him oddly. "Monica, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Chandler…no one except Phoebe knows that I like this cake, but that's only because she was with me when I found the bakery." Monica was trying to reconcile a moment where she may have talked about the bakery or the cake, but knew there was none.

Chandler laughed, "Well you must have mentioned it at some point, how else would I know about it?" he asked, trying to play to her logical side. Truly, he couldn't remember exactly when Monica had told him about the bakery and the cake, but he knew that it had happened at some point in his "dream", he just hadn't recognized that it apparently, was a secret.

"Yeah," Monica agreed softly, still slightly unnerved, "I guess you're right." She tried to shake it off, and joined him in raising her glass to toast the New Year.

Chandler decided it was best to try to change the subject, to get her mind off of the cake. "So, what's your New Year's Resolution?" he asked, taking a sip of his wine.

Monica laughed, she realized she had been so nervous about this date, that she hadn't really given much thought to the actual passing into a new year. "I don't know," she admitted honestly, "find a job, I guess, you know, and not get fired from it."

Chandler laughed, "You'll find something, you're an amazing chef."

Monica blushed slightly, "Thank you." She took another bite of her cake and decided to try to deflect the attention away from herself, "what about you, what's your New Year's Resolution?" She asked, curious to know the answer.

Chandler looked down, he wasn't sure how to answer. He looked back up and found her eyes waiting for him, light with anticipation of what he might say, "there's a couple I'll be working on this year," he answered.

"Care to share any of them?" Monica asked raising her eyebrow, now more curious than ever.

Chandler's mind was working in overtime, trying to figure out what to tell her. He couldn't tell her the truth, the truth of course being that all of his resolutions revolved around her. "Well, I guess they're not really resolutions." Chandler confessed slowly.

"Well then what are they?" Monica asked.

Chandler bobbed his head slowly as he searched for the right words, "I'd say its more like I'm working on forever, ya know?" Chandler asked, hoping she wouldn't make him explain further.

Monica squinted her eyes, trying to make sure that this was in fact still Chandler sitting in front of her. Where did this man come from? Not more than four months ago this guy was bitching about ending up alone, but yet the mere mention of commitment still brought him jumping out of a chair in repulsion. Now here he was, the same guy, talking about forever. Chandler started to eat his slice of the cake, so Monica decided she should do the same while she let her mind replay his words.

The cake was of course delicious, and the conversation that followed was light and casual compared to where they had began. Before Monica knew it, Chandler was glancing down at his wristwatch and reaching over to grab her hand. She allowed him to pull her up, and he grabbed their glasses of wine and led her out of their small tent. They could both here the faint shouts of people in the street counting down to the New Year. Monica looked up at Chandler to find him staring intently back at her. As the count reached zero and fireworks began to burst in the air, she could feel his free hand weave its way around her back, slowly bringing her closer to him.

"Happy New Year, Monica," Chandler said softly.

Happy New Year," she replied back, closing her eyes as he leaned in to kiss her.


	6. Chapter 6

Over the next few weeks Monica found herself continuously caught off guard and happily surprised by dating Chandler. After a romantic New Year's Eve, he sent her flowers to thank her for spending the evening with him and to ask her out again. Monica was so speechless that it took her several moments to think of a believable lie when Rachel asked about the flowers, which Monica ended up saying were from Fun Bobby still trying to get her to go out with him. Since then Chandler had taken her to several restaurants she hadn't been to, ice skating, and last night to a concert. Last night had been different from the other dates though, which is how she found herself now, laying naked next to him while he still slept.

Monica took this time now to study him, his chest slowly rising and falling, and thought back over the few short months that had passed since she had playfully pushed him on the street, unintentionally but irrevocably altering both of their paths. Since that push, the terrifying 72 hours that followed, and from the time that Chandler had opened his eyes again, he had somehow changed into someone that was almost unrecognizable - almost. His sarcasm and wit still slipped off of his tongue as easily as it ever had, a good natured laugh always not far behind. His eyes still crinkled when he smiled or laughed, which she thought maybe happened more often now, though she couldn't quite remember. He was undoubtedly the same Chandler, but also entirely different, so much so that Monica caught herself just staring at him sometimes. While he would talk to her at dinner, easily and with confidence, about the entirely new career he had begun to build for himself. When he would reach over to brush a strand of hair behind her ear while they were walking down the street together or sitting alone in the coffee house, as though he had done it only a million times before and it wasn't even remotely too intimate for him. And last night...how he had seemed to know, without any prompting or instruction exactly what Monica liked, things that no one else had ever done to her before that she didn't even know she liked.

She watched as he slowly opened his eyes, peeking at her as a smile washed over the features on his face. He reached over to her, pulling her to him easily, and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Good morning," he whispered simply as he ran his hand up and down her shoulder.

"Good morning," she whispered back shyly. The morning after the first time could sometimes be awkward with a guy, but Monica was surprised again to find Chandler wasn't acting awkward or nervous. Instead he rolled over so that he was laying on top of her, his weight supported by his arms on either side of her head.

"That's not a proper way to say good morning," he whispered back, leaning down to slowly kiss both of her cheeks.

Monica giggled, "It's not, huh?" she asked, raising her eyebrow as she let her hands wander up his still bare chest and wrap around his neck.

"Most definitely not," Chandler said, scolding her with his tone. He leaned down again, this time kissing her fully on the mouth while she ran her fingers through his hair. When he came up for air, he could see the familiar flush in her cheeks, her eyes slightly dilated. He smiled, knowing that he had done that to her. Chandler remembered the night before, and how he had been taken aback slightly by Monica's new sense of self doubt. He supposed it wasn't really new at all, in fact it was quite old, and certainly something that she had lost by the time they had their first encounter in London. Now though, eight years before their would-be tryst at her brothers wedding, he found her to be shy, almost unaware even, of what she was capable of. He supposed it was lucky that he already knew, and in turn knew exactly what he was capable of doing to her. He bent down again to begin gently nipping at her neck, causing her to giggle again. As Chandler's nibbles turned to slow and gentle kisses, Monica's giggling subsided and her breathing grew heavy as her heart rate increased. She closed her eyes as she let Chandler, a man she never in a million years thought she'd be naked in a bed with, do things to her that she didn't know could be done, let alone by him.

Chandler sat in the coffee house later that evening, feeling quite pleased with himself. He thought back to when he first woke up in his hospital bed, wondering where his wife was. The sinking feeling in his heart and stomach when he realized that his memories hadn't really happened, and the overwhelming sense of loss that followed. Now here he was, months later, with a new job back where he belonged in advertising, and Monica back by his side. He still hadn't figured out if everything that had happened in his head had been real, or some kind of premonition, and he didn't really think he would ever know. Chandler had resolved to make the most of what had happened, and to take what he knew to get the most out of his life. Still, it was creepy. Things were strikingly similar, unless he made a point of doing something differently. He had also found that changing one thing didn't necessarily create a butterfly affect and impact everything else - it just changed the one thing. Joey still slept with the same girls that Chandler vaguely remembered, Ross still pined after Rachel and finally won back her favor when a video of Monica and Rachel's prom surfaced, and Phoebe was still...Phoebe. As he sipped on coffee, his friends began to trickle in. When Monica arrived, he greeted her nonchalantly with the rest of his friends, but offered her a smile that he hoped she knew was just for her. She returned it as she took her seat in an open stool at the table across from the large arm chair he sat in. The group chattered casually, Chandler struggled to pay attention as he thought back to the night before, but was snapped back to reality when a name popped up like a planted land mine that he was sure he had avoided.

"Wait, what did you just say?" He asked quickly, looking at Monica who seemed slightly confused.

"Which part?" Monica asked, not sure which part Chandler had missed. She honestly hadn't thought he was even listening, which was fine since she had mostly been talking to Ross anyway.

"Whose house did your mom get you a catering job at?" Chandler asked again, leaning forward slightly, his eyes beginning to narrow.

"Richard Burke," Monica said, still confused as to why Chandler seemed so alarmed, "why, you don't know him, do you?"

**AN - no comment.**


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